I have tried most anti-depressants, both legal and illegal, some I remember, some are just a dizzy purple haze of a memory and unfortunately I cant remember which results came from which drugs.
I have been taking anti-D's since I was about 15 which is pretty rediculous. I remember the doctor being pretty pill happy and prescribing me week after week 'happy pills' as they became named in our house. Never once did the doctor really try and find out what was at the heart of the problem, if the drugs didnt work he would just prescribe more, if they didnt work, he'd just prescribe different ones.
Most however worked for a time but then platooed out so that they stopped having an effect, some spaced me out so much that my friends thought I had started taking heroin and others just knocked me out completely so I slept for about 12hours... non really had the effect of keeping me happy!
It wasnt until I came to leave rehab (after trying and almost suceeding at taking my life), that I was told that I didnt need the drugs because I wasnt depressed that it was just a reaction to the things that had happened to me. Which has always left me a little puzzled as to what is actually wrong with me... if I am not depressed then why cant I cope when things go wrong, why cant I just pick myself up and carry on if someone hurts or upsets me? Why do I then do something so stupid to hurt myself further...?
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